Petaluma Valley Baptist Church

One of the grand lessons that I have learned about God over the many, many years of our journey together is that He is a God of surprises.  Yes, He always acts in ways that are consistent with both His word and His character.  But His consistency does not in any way prevent Him from surprising us.

–So, He answers our prayer…but He does so in a way that we never saw coming.

–He provides for our need…but He does so in a way that we’d never even considered.

He is altogether consistent.  But His consistency does not in any way prevent Him from surprising us.  That’s a lesson that I’ve learned about God.  I wonder if you’ve learned that lesson, as well.  Let’s find out.  How many of you have recently been genuinely surprised by some way that God has moved or acted in your life?  So, I’m not alone, here.  Our God is not only good, loving, patient, kind, true, faithful and powerful, He’s also a God of surprises.

And I mention this because He has recently surprised me, yet again.  For weeks and weeks I had looked forward to participating in the Prayer Conference that my friend Rick Astle was hosting in South Carolina.  And in many ways my experience at the Prayer Conference was just what I had expected.  What I had not anticipated at all, was the way that God would grip my heart in the midst of that conference with a passion to protect the spirit of unity and fellowship that He has created among us here within the Petaluma Valley Family and throughout the body of Christ across Petaluma through the churches of City Ministries.  And here’s how that passion came about.

When I last spoke to you two Sundays ago, having just returned from South Carolina, I told you how Rick had driven me around Myrtle Beach and pointed out church after church with phrases like, “That church split 3 years ago.  That church split last year.  That church is in the middle of a split right now.”  And it just broke my heart.

–Long time Christian friends not even speaking to one another any more.

–Pastors of neighboring churches who want nothing to do with one another.

God allowed me to see the tragedy of Christians breaking fellowship with one another from His perspective.  And, folks, it breaks His heart, too.  God also allowed me to see the great joy that God finds in our unity and fellowship.  God delights when His people are one.

While I was in South Carolina, I had the opportunity to talk at some length with the speaker of the Prayer Conference, Dr. Richard Owen Roberts, about what God is doing among the 14 churches of City Ministries.  For 50 years Dr. Roberts has traveled the world preaching a message of holiness and repentance as a necessary foundation to spiritual awakening and revival, and I was very interested to hear his perspective on what we’re experiencing here.  I told him how the pastors pray together weekly and the churches regularly come together for combined experiences.  I told him about the City Wide worship service that we had at the fairgrounds in August.  Then I said to him, “I’ve had a sense that God is doing something very special among us, but I’ve always imagined that it must be happening in other places, even though I’m not aware of them.  But I don’t travel as much as you do.  You’re all over the country all of the time.  Do you know of other places where this kind of thing is happening?”

He paused for a moment and turned his scorching glare in my direction and said, “If what you’re saying is true…no, I don’t know any area in the country that is experiencing what you’re describing in Petaluma.  And what you’re describing is consistent with a true and powerful movement of God.”

So, folks, I came home from that Prayer Conference with a passion to do whatever I can do to protect the spirit of unity and fellowship that God has created among us here within the Petaluma Valley Family and throughout the extended body of Christ that is City Ministries and also a passion to urge and equip you to join me in the cause.

Two weeks ago, we looked at 1 Thessalonians 2:1-12 and identified 4 things that each of us can do to protect our unity and fellowship.  Let’s review them quickly.

The first is to be gentle in all of our dealings with one another.  A gentle spirit nurtures fellowship.

The second is to share our lives with one another.  That means letting each other in not only on the wonderful things that are going on in our lives but also on our struggles. When we share our hardships and heartbreaks with one another we’re not burdening each other, we’re functioning the way that God designed the church to function.  We’re making it possible for us to experience real fellowship.

The third thing that we can do is to pay serious attention to the purity of our lives.  I’m reminded of what Rick Astle said at the very beginning of our spring Prayer Conference, “Every member of the church is contributing to either the purity or the pollution of the church. You’ll only become a powerful church as you become a pure church.”

Folks, every time we invite sin into our lives we bring that sin into the corporate life of the church.  And sin is fellowship breaker.  Holiness is a fellowship builder.

Finally, the fourth thing that we can do is to encourage each other to live the lives to which God has called us.  To come together…every time we come together…in large groups or small, not just with the intent of getting a blessing but with the intent of being a blessing to someone else.

To that end, let me give you a prayer to consider.  “Father, I’m going to be meeting with my church family a little later, today.  While I’m with them show me how I can encourage someone to keep pressing in and pressing on.”

Four very clear, very simple things that each of us can do to protect our unity and strengthen our fellowship.

Now, this morning, I want to add just one more action step to that list of four.  It’s clear.  It’s simple.  And it’s laid out for us in a single verse of scripture.  Ephesians 4:29.  Here’s what it says,

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”

Let’s read that again and let it begin to soak into our minds.  “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”

Now, let’s work back through the verse and take a closer look at each of its component parts, beginning with that phrase, “unwholesome talk.”  A more literal translation of the Greek text there is, “corrupt/rotten words.”  So, don’t let rotten words come out of your mouths.

I don’t know what images come into your minds when you think of the word “rotten” but I can tell you exactly what comes into my mind.  On one of our mission trips to Mexico, my team was assigned to paint a house that a previous team had not been able to finish.  No big deal.  Unfortuately, next to the house was a giant pile of rotting tomatillos and the stench was absolutely repulsive.
I love tomatillos.  I love to smother enchiladas or tacos with tomatillo sauce.  I love tomatillos.  But I hope I never get near another rotten tomatillo as long as I live because there is nothing appealing or nutritious about them.

And the same thing is true of rotten words.  Nothing good…nothing positive…nothing helpful ever comes of them.  All they do is corrupt and make a big stink.  So…can I be pointed?  Don’t stink up our fellowship with rotten words!

Now, in contrast to letting rotten words pour out of our mouths, the last half of the verse reveals a completely different vision of the purpose of our words.  Here’s a beautiful vision of the kind of speech that ought to fill the mouths of God’s children.  The kind of speech that strengthens fellowship.

Instead of letting rotten words come out of your mouths, speak “only what is helpful…for building others up…according to their needs…”  Let’s stop there for a moment because we’ve just been given an incredibly clear vision of the way that we want to speak to one another every time we’re together.

–We’re only going to say things that are helpful.

–We’re only going to say things that build each other up.

–We’re only going to say things that meet each other’s needs.

Now, does that mean that we can’t have fun when we’re together?   That we have to be serious all the time?  Absolutely not.  Having fun with each other meets a need.  Providing light-hearted moments of laughter for one another is very helpful.  The point, here, is not that we can’t have fun when we’re together.  The point is to recognize that relationships are mightily influenced by the things we say to one another. And that includes both light-hearted banter and very serious conversations. Consequently, it is very important for us to be discerning, at all times, in the way we speak to one another.  And, to that end, we’ve just been given a 3-point outline to guide our discerning:  Is this line of conversation helpful? (2) Does it build someone up? (3) Does it meet a need? If not, then I’d be wise not to say anything more.

Now, if the verse had ended right there it would already have been very helpful but what comes next takes it to a whole different level. What comes next transforms a helpful verse into an absolute treasure.

Speak “only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs (now, here’s the final phrase) that it may benefit those who listen.”  Now, unfortunately, the NIV translation, which we just read, completely misses what I believe is the most important and the most powerful word in that part of the sentence.  It’s the Greek word, “charis,” which means, “grace.”  So, a more literal translation of the end of the verse would sound like this: speak “only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs that it may give grace to the one listening.”

Now, the reason I think that’s so important is because it gives us an absolutely flawless guide for our conversations with one another.

–Yes, when we’re together we want to avoid saying rotten things to one another.  Agreed.

–Yes, when we’re together we want to say things that are helpful, things that build each other up, things that meet each others needs.  Agreed.

But there’s actually a much easier way to exercise good judgment over our words: “Is this thing that I’m about to say an expression of grace?”  “Will the person who hears what I’m about to say receive it as a gift of grace?”

When my words convey grace, they’ll be helpful.
When my words convey grace, they’ll build people up.
When my words convey grace, they’ll meet people’s needs.
I want my words…always…to convey grace.

And as I was soaking on that a couple of days ago, I remembered our recent journey through 1 Peter 2:9, an amazing verse that begins by describing who we are as God’s children.  It says, “You are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God.”  That’s who we are.  And then the verse ends by telling us why we’re here.  “That you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.”

That means that we exist to tell the world that our God is an awesome God.  We’re here to sing God’s praises.  We exist to declare His glory.

So, I put those two verses together and came up with a very simple, easy to remember guide to keep our conversations in that place that keeps our fellowship strong and protected.

I want to speak only those things that give grace to God’s people and glory to God.  That’s it.  I don’t know how to improve on that.

That’s the kind of speech I want to flow from my mouth.  Speech that gives grace to God’s people and glory to God.

Would that kind of speech protect our unity?

Would that kind of conversation strengthen our fellowship?

Is the relationship that we enjoy together as church family worth that level of vigilance over the way we talk to one another?  Let these tables answer that question for you.  The fellowship that we enjoy together as church family was purchased by the broken body and shed blood of Jesus.    Once you were not a people.  Now you are the people of God.  So, come to these Tables.  Remember what Jesus did for you.  Then go and be the family of God.